A Question of Showers
by St. Harridan
Summary: Kenpachi searches high and low for Yachiru to give her a morning bath, only to have Jushiro show up on his doorstep with the brat asleep in his arms.


"_Yachiru_!"

It was the umpteenth time he called out to her, and still he received nothing but the distant shouting of his men down in the training grounds. With a groan, he raked his fingers through his hair, still wet and loose from the morning shower.

A rather hasty shower, he had to admit. The moment he had stepped out of the bathroom, the usual dread of having to bathe the brat clawing at the back of his mind, he found the bedroom empty. The pink stuffed bear lying on the floor wrapped up in layers of quilt was the only evidence of her past mischief. For a short while in time, he had rejoiced the revelation that he wasn't obliged to dunk her little pink head into the bath tub and thus, being splashed with buckets upon buckets of soapy water, but he soon caught himself.

He knew finding the brat was never an easy task, having learned it the hard way. The fact that he wasn't much of a morning person made things significantly harder. Uncaring as to the looks his underlings would give him, especially the pretty-boy, Kenpachi had stormed out into the hallways with nothing but a towel wrapped around his waist.

It was his division anyway. He could do whatever the hell he wanted and if anyone were to stop him, he'd have their head buried in the dirt a second too soon.

"Yachiru?" he inquired Aramaki, who avoided even the slightest bit of eye contact with his captain. He shook his head, shrugging, hands gripping the mop to his chest so hard that his knuckles turned white.

"A-ain't got a clue, Cap'n."

Kenpachi had to resist the urge to slam his head into the wall. Instead, he gave Aramaki a light kick in the back that sent him tripping over the bucket, sending it toppling forwards and spilling dirty water all over the floor. Yumichika wouldn't be too happy about that, but Kenpachi had other things to worry about.

"Yachiru, get back here 'fore I roast yer ass!" He'd been using that threat since the first time he saw her out in the Rukon. Back then, she would answer to his every beck and call when applied that coarse technique, but now she was older and wiser in the ways of manipulation. It irritated him to no end that now she was capable of defying his wishes and causing unwanted trouble around the Seireitei. Pissing the old man off was one thing – Kenpachi couldn't argue with the fun the act generated – but whenever she escaped dinner, bath time, or insisted on staying up way past her bedtime, Kenpachi could do nothing but comply.

"Stupid lil' dumbass," he muttered through gritted teeth as he stormed through the corridors, roughly adjusting his towel so that it wouldn't slip lower down his waist. It was during times like these that he seriously contemplated the hiring of a babysitter. Maybe that Unohana woman or her lieutenant could tame the brat.

"Cap'n!"

Looking past his irritation, Kenpachi saw Ikkaku turn the corner and speed down the hallway towards him. Ikkaku gave him a hasty bow, and then straightened up, a rather troubled expression carved across his face. It was on a whim that Kenpachi restrained himself from stuffing Ikkaku's mouth with his towel. He hadn't the time nor mood for yet another troublesome matter.

"Ye give me bullshit, I swear I'll cut yer dick off," he said through clenched teeth, the muscle in his jaw already twitching with vexation. Ikkaku seemed to contemplate his decision but, after a deep swallow, shrugged and jerked a thumb over his shoulder.

"Cap'n Ukitake's here."

Kenpachi immediately grabbed him by the collar of his shihakusho and brought him close, staring him down with a piercing glare. "What?" It was more like a statement than a question, and then he let go off Ikkaku and scratched absently at his abdomen. "That bastard needs a kick in the ass. The fuck's he doin' here so early in the mornin'?" The sun was already high up in the clear blue sky, on the verge of slipping into noon, but Kenpachi wasn't one to give a damn about such trivialities.

"I don't know, Cap'n," Ikkaku shrugged again, adding onto Kenpachi's anger, "but he's got the lieutenant with 'em."

Kenpachi stared at him, disbelieving, his mouth set in a thin straight line. "The fuck're ye talkin' 'bout? Yachiru's with 'em? What's she doin' with that prick?"

"I-I really don't know nothin', Cap'n." Ikkaku swallowed at the murderous glint in Kenpachi's eyes. He knew that look well, sure that he wasn't going to go anywhere near the future exchange between the two captains later on.

"Outta my way." Kenpachi shoved Ikkaku to the side, thoughts of a messy murder whirling through his mind. With a hand gripping the top of his towel so as to avoid it from slipping off, he marched down the corridor and burst out through the double doors. The sunlight blinded him momentarily, but soon after his eyes got used to it, he found none other than his fellow captain standing there before him.

With the brat cradled in his arms.

"Give the lil' shithead back," Kenpachi barked, pointing straight at Jushiro's face. Jushiro frowned at him, disapproving such coarse, unnecessary language. "The fuck're ye doin' with her anyway? The hell did she get over to yer place? She was just here minutes earlier."

"Apparently she got tired of waiting for you to come out of the shower," Jushiro's eyes fleeted across Kenpachi's body, pausing just for a while at the towel before coming back up to address him face to face, "or so she told me. Nevertheless, she's a pleasant surprise to have on a dull morning, I'd say. I could only wonder just what happened to her dear 'Ken-chan' when she turned up on my doorstep." Jushiro allowed himself a smirk as Kenpachi glared at him. He never liked it whenever others brought up the question of Yachiru's nickname for him, and he liked it even less when Jushiro poked fun at it.

Kenpachi stared hard at Jushiro, trying to counter his questioning, unassuming gaze. "I was takin' a shit, okay?" he finally said, throwing the finger at Jushiro.

"Hard stool?" Jushiro raised an eyebrow, pushing it a little further.

"Fuck you." Kenpachi reached for Yachiru, but Jushiro slapped his hand away and took a few steps back.

"Shush, she's asleep." Jushiro caressed her back, patting lightly so as to keep her in slumber. "By the way, you don't have to worry too much about her shower. I gave her a bath this morning when she came by, as well as breakfast. Though, I have to say that she's got a rather big appetite." He chuckled softly, breath ruffling Yachiru's pink strands. It took a moment for Kenpachi to digest it, but when he did, he let out a relieved grunt.

"Saves me the goddamn trouble." He ran his fingers through his hair, this time feeling a weight being lifted off his shoulders. He couldn't deny the fact that he was actually concerned about where she had gone, what she was doing. Just too used having her around, to taking care of her all by himself, he detested the idea of anyone else looking after her welfare. But since it was Jushiro, Yachiru's "Ukki", who helped handle the situation, he felt all the more reassured. "Ye should be her goddamn babysitter or somethin'."

"What was that?"

Kenpachi looked away, faking a cough. "Nothin'." Feeling Jushiro's gaze still upon him, he turned on his heels and headed back towards the entrance of the barracks. "Are ye gonna stand out there in the damn hot sun all day long or what? Get yer ass in here 'fore ye keel over."

With a laugh, Jushiro trailed at Kenpachi's heels indoors. The shinigami that they passed had trouble keeping their composure, overwhelmed by the combined spiritual pressure of both captains, stumbling over themselves to greet them. A ways down the corridor, Kenpachi could hear Yumichika berating Aramaki for spilling dirty water all over the floor, the sound of his high-pitched voice bouncing off the walls. Yachiru stirred in Jushiro's arms, and as he tried to soothe her, Kenpachi disappeared down the hallway to give Yumichika a piece of his mind.

"Shut the fuck up 'fore I have Aramaki spill all these," he kicked the water off the floor onto Yumichika's uniform, eliciting a squeak from the pretty-boy, "onto ye the next time."

"Y-yes, sir, I understand, sir." Yumichika swallowed, bowing crookedly to his captain and then to Jushiro.

"Prick needs to be taught a lesson," Kenpachi muttered as he led Jushiro up a flight of stairs to his living quarters.

"Aren't you being just a bit too harsh to him?"

"Ain't my fault, I ain't his keeper." Kenpachi opened the door to Yachiru's bedroom, grinning in amusement as he watched Jushiro pick his way through the mess of blankets, stuffed toys, dolls and sticky candy. He was sure that Jushiro would give him a lecture about this later, but for now, he hoped that Jushiro would be too preoccupied with Yachiru to even care. Jushiro settled her onto the bed and tucked her in, slowly and carefully as if he was her very own mother. Despite everything, Kenpachi had to admit that Jushiro really did have skill in handling children.

Jushiro stepped lightly through the room and closed the door as silently as he could behind him, leaving Yachiru curled up under the quilts, sound asleep.

"You're welcome," he said even though Kenpachi had no mind to thank him. "I should be heading back to my division. I told Kiyone and Sentaro that I wouldn't be long, but since you're quite…well-acquainted with them, you should know that they disapprove of me coming over here."

"Well, fuck 'em." Kenpachi pushed Jushiro up against the wall, hands on either side of his head. Kenpachi sneered down at him as the towel finally came loose, dropping to the floor to pool around his ankles. Jushiro couldn't help but look down, instantaneously overcome by a light shade of pink across his cheeks.

"I have work to do," he said, trying to keep his composure.

"Do I look like I give a damn?" Kenpachi grasped a fistful of the front of his shihakusho, pulled him into his bedroom, shut the door and pushed him down onto the mattress. As Jushiro's hands scrabbled at his, Kenpachi ignored his stuttered protests and tore open his uniform in one swift motion.

"Damn you, Zaraki." Jushiro swallowed a lump in his throat as Kenpachi nipped at his collarbone.

"Think of it as my way of thanks, eh?" Kenpachi smirked, feeling the pulse in his crotch growing with each writhe and objection Jushiro made. "'Sides, this gives us an excuse to take a shower together anyway."

Now Jushiro couldn't argue with that.


End file.
